Back when I had a job as a drug rep there was a point at which I just hit an all time low and it felt terrible. I went into a doctor’s office where I had a lunch scheduled with three doctors and a couple of nurses plus support staff and I have to say, I was just so disinvested in what I was doing. I didn’t believe in the message that I was bringing to these people and yet I was expected to spend lunch talking enthusiastically about medications and why they should be prescribing more of mine.

Five years of existing in a job that was completely out of line with my values had deadened my soul.

All I really wanted to do was talk about travel. I didn’t give a shit about medicine, what I really wanted was to get to know these people as human beings and so I went and I brought lunch and I started asking about where they’d been recently on vacation or where they were planning to go. The problem was, they just weren’t that interested in discussing travel. In fact, the entire clinic was always kind of cranky.

So I carried on with pleasantries and once we ran out of things to say I was (of course) expected to give my pitch about my drugs but I already knew this office wasn’t receptive and I just thought to myself, “I. Do Not. Give. A Shit.  I don’t care about what I’m doing.” Why would I make a case about these medications for people who don’t care and can’t even remember my name after four years of coming here and being all nicey nice anyways?

So I didn’t.

I just sat there thinking that there’s nothing, no amount of money, no amount of awkward silence around the table that could make me talk about my product right now because this is not what I’m supposed to be doing. This sucks. There’s nothing that can convince me to do this.

I finally got up and said, “Enjoy the rest your lunch” and walked out. I went out and climbed into my car and sniffle-cried for a little while.

I remember clear as day thinking, “This is how you waste your life.”

This is how you waste your life, you know?

And the thing is, I had objectives. I had a reason for sticking around with the company for as long as I did. I don’t regret it and it eventually led me to Africa which was phenomenal.  But those in between times…those times where I was doing the job and justifying it for some reason or other…I will never forget how hollow and awful, how sad I felt because I knew that’s not what I was supposed to be doing. I knew that I was wasting my years away and that was pretty horrible. So my plea to you is don’t let this happen to you. If you’re in that space now, don’t let this happen to you. Get up and walk out. Fucking do something, man.

Your turn.  If you were once in that space and can relate, please share your story in the comments.  If you are in a similar space now, even more important that you share so We the Republic can help!