Occasionally overheard from my 30-something-year-old friends, usually when discussing professional choices;
“My dad would be really disappointed if I left this stable job.“
“My mom told me I should blah blah blah.”
This warrants discussing.
Parents can be great. Many of them have been through a lot and have a lot of wisdom to share.
But our parents grew up in a com-plete-ly different time, in almost every way, shape, and form. What’s changed in the last ten years alone is mind-boggling, and despite the fact that they have our well being at heart, it’s not reasonable to think their advice is the best anymore.
You owe it to yourself to face the discomfort of breaking that hierarchical family myth.
There are so many ways to honour and respect your parents’ opinions or suggestions ~ to take them into serious consideration ~ then turn around and not follow them at all.
Forge your own path.
Deep down, most parents want us to be strong, happy, healthy, smart individuals. They want us to be able to stand on our own. They want us to be able to make sound decisions. But if you never establish yourself as a fully separate entity, if you never take a stand and say, “I respect your opinion, but I’m going to do what I think is best, and I need you to just believe in me,” then you’re not giving them the opportunity to experience you as a fully capable whole…as someone whose decisions may (often) lead to a better outcome for you than if you’d taken their advice.
Parents have just as much to learn from you as you have from them.
Own your own wisdom. Acquiesce. Lean in.